Caught in the rain is an apropos analogy for my current situation. Today, my manager asked me to proofread a business card. I did the task with a good attitude, but the situation is laughable. It’s obvious that the situation is not sustainable and that I need a position that matches my skills and experience.
Paying your dues is not fun. What is most exasperating about it is that I paid my dues in my 20s. That time is now over. I am realising that my friend who lives here has a very different situation. She came into a position that matches her experience. I, on the other hand, had to take an entry-level position that a new university graduate would take.
It’s obvious that it’s becoming time for me to move on. I look forward to having my next year sorted out. I’m not a very patient person when plans are up in the air. I don’t like the feeling of being unstable.
To help keep myself sane, I am thinking more about next year. I do have a passion for history and have always wanted to pursue research in that area. If I had my druthers, I would be writing historical-related material full time. I wish that I could write thoughtful material without teaching. I enjoyed teaching in its time, but I found that the time involved in doing it well took over any remaining time that I had.
I’ve decided to ask about the possibility of covering for a faculty member next year while he is on sabbatical. I want to have adequate information in order to make an informed position.
When I came here, I thought that I wanted an easy job that I could leave at the end of the day. What I have found is that these easy jobs don’t use my brain. I thought that it would be fine to skate by at work and then use my larger free time to read, play piano and write. As difficult it is to admit it is, there is something about having compelling and meaningful work as your day job. Filing reports and writing easy newsletters in a cattle-call of an office is obviously not my calling.
In fact, I believe that it is wrong not to use my talents to their fullest extent.
There are many things that I want to achieve in order not to be caught in the rain:
–there are at least two books inside of me about my experiences
–master piano at a decent level
–read often and widely
–pursue my interests in other topics such as history
–I am fascinated by architecture. There is at least one book in me about vernacular architecture and people’s social interactions with it
–what does this mean as far as work? Work part-time? Go back into academia and use an honours degree to generate conference activity here?
I have a strong feeling that things will not shake out the way that I had planned here.
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