Sunday

Today is a usual Sunday of cooking and marking. I hope to find time for a run later today if the rain holds off.

I wake up dreading the next day. I moved down here to avoid this feeling for Mondays. The reality is that I’m finding that the office job allows me not enough time at home. I miss the freedom of working from home. Four hours in the evening is just not enough time to enjoy time at home during the work weeks. It is certainly not positive for my writing.

I think that an ideal scenario for me would be to work part-time at most. I really need time for other things and alone time, too. I will have to see how things go when I’ve finished navigating this horrible office situation.

I am typically very creative with solutions and can easily find a way out of a situation. I cannot believe that I have yet to develop a workable solution yet. Feeling trapped is definitely a damaging situation to be in. I’ve gained a new understanding of how people in abusive relationships must feel. It is the most bizarre situation. I am realising that our new boss, though he seems pleasant is basically useless and is actually pushing for her to stay on. In fact, I think he is incapable without her. What a nice gig she’s created for herself. The fact that we don’t have the freedom to cancel meetings is incredulous to me, or that we don’t get meeting agendas. I’ve never been in such a powerless situation. Because I am used to working in professional environments, it is awfully hard to take.

Of course I could leave. There is always a choice. Would it result in me having no other work options? I believe so, but I am not for sure. Is it best that I just cut my losses and leave? Or, am I allowing her to win by leaving? I am not sure which is the best option. The counselor urged me to think solution-oriented, but the problem is that there are no choices in this situation. I cannot even physically move my seat.

I’ve tried to keep myself busy and do house-related tasks and reading this weekend. I am also marking assessments. The second assessment is going much more quickly. I am enjoying the material as well.